Updated: Oct 10, 2019
I’ll admit it. I didn’t intentionally start out trying to prank my girls. I just kind-of left out a few details about the Greenbrier’s famous spa services…….
But let’s back up a minute and let you know a bit of back story. The Greenbrier Hotel is located in a remote area of West Virginia and has a glorious history. Twenty-six presidents have stayed there, numerous foreign dignitaries and countless other political figures. For decades it kept the worlds best secret (maybe other than Area 51? 😉). An incredible underground bunker was hidden behind secret doors that could house the entire Congress in a state of emergency - complete with hospital facilities. Today, all you have to think of is of the movie Dirty Dancing and the Marvelous Mrs. Maisel's summer vacations. It’s a cruise-ship-on-land with activities everywhere (see my instagram site the_real_ladyconstance for ALL the photos.)
The décor of the Greenbrier was done in the 1940’s by Dorothy Draper, who created the bold Hollywood Regency style. It totally fits the glamour and style of the hotel and will never change because it is now part of the historic presence of the hotel. Dinner is jacket required for men and don’t even think of going to breakfast in your exercise clothes. High tea is served everyday at 4pm and every evening at 10pm is the champagne waltz in the casino. The local police station closes at 9pm because apparently there is so little crime, it’s not needed. How’s that for a bit of past niceties?
But let’s rewind to my mentioning the remoteness of this hotel. Because if you have the wrong gps, you could end up on a dirt road to get there, which is exactly what happened to my daughter. Interestingly enough - 4 of us, with 4 different gps systems - were all given different routes! I’m here to tell you to STAY ON THE INTERSTATE! Seriously, don’t attempt any other "shortcut."
But now back to the spa. Here’s the official description of the particular Greenbrier treatment that I signed up for my girls:
“The Greenbrier Signature Spa Treatment - Experience the Greenbrier Spa in the truest sense of the word. This treatment begins with a soak in the famous healing waters of our White Sulphur Springs, followed by a few moments in our Swiss Shower and Scotch Spray. This will break up toxins and cellular blockage, which will prepare your body for either a 25-minute or 50-minute Swedish massage that is a spectacular finale to this luxurious treatment.”
And now you’re wondering what, exactly, is a Swiss shower/Scotch Spray? Well, the girls never asked and I never volunteered the information. Prank? Not really because I just gave them the most memorable spa treatment they will ever have. The Swedish Shower and Scotch spray has been described in a lot of ways - let me present a few:
“Awkward Naked Moment”
“If you wanted to know what a sidewalk feels like as it’s being Pressure washed”
“Water cannon blasting”
Ok - these all might sound too funny, but imagine yourself in a shower stall with a technician 5 feet away aiming this James Bond type blasting water gun at you while you stand there in all your naked glory. It’s hilarious. And a spa moment you will never forget. And it might actually work! I’ll have to ask the girls if they felt more toned……
But I digress.
The Greenbrier is a wonderful, historical resort that has so much to offer you’ll never get it all in on one stay. You’ll have to - or rather, want to -go back.
What else can you do there? Besides being FAMOUS for golf, Dancing with DJ, Bowling, swimming (indoors and out), biking, pool tables, movies, croquet, falconry, air rifles, skeet shooting, axe throwing, arts & crafts, children’s programs, scavenger hunts, bunker tours, history tours, carriage rides, Animaland toy experience, cabaret performances, horse riding, geocaching, tennis, Segway tours, escape room and ?. Whew! I know I’ve missed some things!
And patriotic? You bet. You can read another article about it here: "Why The Greenbrier Matters To All Americans"